CPC 2014 Breakout Session 7 Notes

Speaker: Michelle Anthony
Title: The Spiritually Formed Family: Beyond Good Behavior and Chore Charts
 
 
Intro: Beyond Good Behavior
  • Sometimes we can think we are getting it right if we are just not sinning anymore or sinning less.
  • We must recognize that sinning less is not what we are striving for. We must strive to follow Jesus.
  • We all want the “abundant life” that Jesus promised, but often we don’t know how to acheive it.
1. Striving for the Abundant Life
  • What is it?
    • Peace
    • A relationship with God
    • Understanding who is in control of our lives
    • A “spiritually formed family” understands that God is the director of our lives and we are just playing a part.
2. Taking Over Control
  • Relinquishing control is one of the hardest spiritual disciplines of our time because so much of life says that we are in control.
  • “I gave in and admitted that God was God.” -C.S. Lewis
  • The Grand Illusion
    • Ultimate control vs. Fixing it myself
    • Recognizing God as the One who is ultimately in control, doesn’t mean that we do nothing.
    • We need a vibrant relationship with God so that we will have His wisdom.
3. Families try to achieve the “abundant life” on their own and in their own power.
  • Parenting styles
    • Controller
      • You know what is right.
      • Everything is done the way you want it or you do it yourself
      • Kids don’t understand that you make all their decisions for their own good.
      • The world is dangerous…period!
      • Kids often end up self-doubting, driven to perfection and struggle with emotional/physical issues.
    • Pusher
      • Live vicariously through your child’s life
      • Everyone else is competition
      • Your child can’t waste a second
      • Childhood is overrated, start getting ready for college now!
    • Narcissist
      • Your needs are more important than your child’s
      • You love being the center of attention
      • Your kids end up avoiding you in adulthood
    • Indulger
      • You want to give kids all that you didn’t have.
      • Discipline is exhausting and so you don’t do it.
    • Best Friend
      • Your child becomes your junior companion.
      • You rely on your child for emotional and social support.
      • Choose your child over your spouse.
    • Self-esteem Killer
      • Life is tough so you make it tough on your child.
      • Criticize to control your child’s ego.
      • No praise given.
      • Don’t encourage your child’s interests.
    • Neglector
      • You work many hours to provide for your child.
      • Your children learns to fend for themselves.
      • Your babysitter practically raises your child.
      • You deny emotional bonding so time away is easier.

4. Spiritually Formed

  • Recognize that your child has been entrusted to you by God and you need His guidance to raise them.
  • You live in a sinful world but want to put God’s character on display in all situations.
  • You know that there is something bigger than controlling your child’s behavior…faith formation.
  • You seek to grown spiritually yourself, knowing that the “overflow” of this will have a great impact on your child.
  • Your kids often end up: knowing God, loving others, living a life of meaning, recognizing that this world is not home.
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